Live the life you want!

The occasional punch in the face by reality is good for us. Case in point: on occasion, you’ll do, or not do, what you want because you’re concerned with what other people think. And it’s holding you back.

No matter the “why” the truth is, at some point, we base our actions and decisions on how we anticipate other people will perceive us. As a result, we don’t always do the things we want to do, because we’re afraid of what others will think.

Why do we care so much about other people’s opinions, even those of total strangers?

Why do we do things, or not do things, because of how we expect others to react?

I’ll kick this off with a disclaimer. It’s beneficial to have opinions from a few people you can trust to tell you if you’re doing something bat-crap crazy, or to encourage you to take a risk.

Do something different from everyone else and you’ll be berated. Better to fit in.

Unfortunately, I allowed a lot of opportunities to pass me by, simply because I cared too much about what other people would think or say. I would often not be true to myself or do the things that would make me happy, out of fear of how other people might react.

Perhaps you can relate: When was the last time you didn’t do what you wanted because you cared more about what other people would think?

Probably more frequently than you like to admit.

Practical Ways to Not Care What Other People Think

Let’s jump into the guide to not giving a damn about what others think, and live the life you want.

1. Stop Negative Labeling

Just because you procrastinated once, well okay, maybe two or three times, don’t say to yourself I’m a procrastinator. If you messed something up to don’t say I’m stupid. If someone left you, don’t say I’m unlovable. Don’t be so willing to put yourself in a box. You’re not a one-dimensional being. You’re greater than that.

How would your life benefit by letting go of past unsupportive labels?

Tell yourself I am creative, I am amazing, I am successful, I am joyful, I am loved. Sometimes being willing to change the labels you’ve given yourself is all you need to open yourself to the next phase of your journey, to see yourself and your world with new eyes.

2. Remember, most people aren't paying much attention

People spend more time thinking about themselves than thinking about others. If they're expressing an opinion about your life, it's probably not something they've given much thought to but just a passing thought.

3. Desensitize your triggers

Are you too sensitive for your own good? Do you get triggered when people say things about you that you know aren't even true? It's easy for a sensitive nature to blow things out of proportion, but try to build the thick skin that lets you shake it off.

4. Opinions are always changing 

Never allow the opinions of others to get too deep, because people can change at any given moment. If you've overinvested in an earlier opinion, it can leave you in the lurch when the person changes their mind.

5. Build your opinion of yourself

Don't care what people see in you. Oftentimes, the reason we care what others think of us is that we see ourselves through their eyes...but it’s not good for us to base our opinion of ourselves solely on what others think of us. The best thing you can do to not care what others think of you is to build your opinion of yourself. Do things that make you proud of yourself so that no matter what they say, you know that you are a good, worthwhile person.

6. Realize that it won’t matter in the long run

It is also important to remember that these people have problems and lives of their own. In five years, they probably won’t even remember you, much less all the things about you that they didn’t like. Their opinions won’t impact you at all just a few years from now. If you spend the meantime enjoying your life and taking advantage of your opportunities, you will be much happier in the long run than if you waste a bunch of time trying to gain the good opinion of people you probably won’t even see anymore in a few years.

7. Trust a few opinions, but forget the rest

There’s freedom in being true to yourself and not caring about what other people think. However, it is important to trust a select few to share their opinions with you, or people you can go to when you need to talk.

Have a few close people you can confide in; people who you know have your best interest at heart.

Personally, I can count on one hand the number of people’s opinions in my life that has an affect on me. And what about other people or total strangers who feel the need to tell me what they think about me, my body, and my life? They don’t matter.

8. Some people are going to dislike you, and there’s nothing you can do about it

Don’t waste your time trying to get everyone to like you, because it’s impossible. Instead of worrying about who doesn’t like you, focus on being a better person for those who do.

Spend your time and energy living an awesome life and using your talents, gifts, and abilities to make the world and people around you better.

Let other people like you not because of who you’re trying to be, but because of who you genuinely are. Or, as I like to say …I’d rather be hated for who I truly am than loved for something I’m pretending to be.

Finally, please practice this with other people too. If you find yourself judging or gossiping about others, please stop. Let’s focus instead on becoming the best versions of ourselves and encourage others to do the same, even if it’s a different way than us.

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