Deal gracefully with Life transition!

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A life transition can be positive or negative, planned or unexpected. Some transitions happen without warning, and they may be quite dramatic, as in cases of accidents, death, divorce, job loss, or serious illness. Other life transitions come from positive experiences such as getting married, going away to college, starting a new job, moving to a new city, or giving birth to a child.

Life transitions give us a chance to learn about our strengths and to explore what we really want out of life. This time of reflection can result in a sense of renewal, stability, and a new equilibrium. We live in a culture that has taught us to be very uncomfortable with uncertainty, so we are anxious when our lives are disrupted.

Even though some events are usually planned and anticipated, they can be just as life-altering as unexpected events. Whether positive or negative, life transitions cause us to leave behind the familiar and force us to adjust to new ways of living, at least temporarily. They can leave us feeling completely unprepared and we may be thrown into a personal crisis, feeling shocked, angry, sad, and withdrawn.

It’s good to know about these perspectives on life transitions because they show us that there’s nothing inherently bad about change. When changes occur, they reflect a variety of factors, and how you interpret them will determine their impact on you. 
Stages of Life Transitions
Successfully moving through a life transition usually means experiencing the following stages:
1.    Experience a range of negative feelings (anger, anxiety, confusion, numbness, and self-doubt)
2.   Feel a loss of self-esteem
3.   Begin to accept the change
4.   Acknowledge that you need to let go of the past and accept the future
5.   Begin to feel hopeful about the future
6.   Feel increased self-esteem
7.   Develop an optimistic view of the future

The process of moving through a transition does not always proceed in order, in these nice, predictable stages. People usually move through the process in different ways, often cycling back and forth among the stages.

 WAYS TO SUCCESSFULLY MANAGE MAJOR LIFE TRANSITION
1. Change is necessary, accept it as it comes
Without change, we wouldn’t learn, grow, or experience the richness of human experience and connection. Consider the changes in nature that are around us: stages of life, birth, death. Some are magnificent, some are painful and some are both. They are all part of life.

Transitions help to strengthen our coping skills and our confidence so that we can face other transitions in life. Change continues to happen, and our ability to develop good coping and strong shock absorbers are key to moving through the transitions gracefully.”

2. Recognize that transitions hold a special place in your life memories
Rather than trying to shove it out of your consciousness because it is so inherently arduous, give it the respect it deserves as an organizing principle of your life.
3. View Transition as a challenge not as stress.
Because stress is in the mind of the beholder, as many researchers like to say, you can take an event that you’re afraid will overwhelm you and turn it into an occasion, you can rise above and conquer.

4. Appreciate the benefits of change.
In life-span developmental science, getting stuck in life’s grooves has been shown to be detrimental to your cognitive growth. Changes in routine can serve as stimulation to your stagnant nervous systems and allow you to grow new neural pathways.


5. Recall other times in your life when you've successfully dealt with transitions. 
What helped you get through that period in your life? Looking back, how do you feel about the past decisions you've made? What were you proud of, and what would you have done differently? Reflecting on your past can help you to make good decisions as you move forward.

6. Be realistic about what you expect from yourself
Accept that you will not adapt to your new circumstances overnight and that loss or change may slow your usual pace and productivity down. If you have experienced a loss, be present for what you are experiencing. Be kind to yourself, and seek help and support when you need it. Although you can look ahead with clear goals in mind, focus on the realistic steps you can take to nourish yourself and effectively cope.

7. Change can challenge the core of our being, including our beliefs and our self-esteem.
In the midst of chaos and uncertainty, it is important to maintain a strong sense of who we are. It is vital to be as grounded as possible, to not forget our core values and to trust that we will persevere. Do your best to be in the now when tackling change, and know that transitions are temporary – you will find a way to cope with the circumstances or overcome the challenge you are presented with.


8. Prepare, prepare, prepare 
Speaking of practical tips, getting things in order before a planned a major transition is one of the best ways to guarantee that all will work out when the time comes to make your move.

9. Be “in the now”
When making a big life change, it’s easy to get caught up in the stress of what the future will hold. For instance, taking a new job or going back to school can feel overwhelming – especially when thinking about everything it may entail – from the steep learning curve and new expectations, to making a positive impression on your new colleagues.

Rather than spending energy ruminating about the past or projecting your fears about the future, try to focus on where you are now. If you can accept where you are and take things step by step as they come, the overwhelm will dissolve. In fact, you might even get excited by the challenge!


10. Use role models to inspire you through this transition
Find examples of people who inspire you to navigate a challenging period in life. The many instances of trauma survivors interviewed on the news who managed to maintain their faith and optimism can give you the reassurance that it’s possible to adapt to even the most stressful events.
11. Don’t be in a rush
When your life is disrupted, it takes time to adjust to the new reality. Expect to feel uncomfortable during a transition as you let go of old ways of doing things. Try to avoid starting new activities too soon, before you have had a chance to reflect and think about what is really best for you.

12. Accept that you may never completely understand what has happened to you
You are likely to spend a lot of time feeling confused and afraid. This makes most of us very uncomfortable. The discomfort and confusion will pass, and clarity will return.

Times of life transitions offer you the chance to explore what your ideal life would look like. When things are in disarray, you can reflect on the hopes and dreams you once had but perhaps forgot about. Take this time to write about them in a journal or talk about them with a trusted friend or family. Now is a good time to take advantage of the fork in the road.

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